Finnegan Begin Again

I read a fantastic post about writers today - what it takes to be a writer...as in, what can I do to be a better writer. The response was refreshingly frank and cut to the quick. To be a better writer you must write. A lot. Sometimes we (I) forget that the way to improve at something is by working at it. I am a better runner when I run consistently. I am a better dancer when I attend classes regularly. My technique improves with practice...and persistent practice...and perfect practice.

There have been times lately that I have half-assed my way through my 8-5. Too many times to count and I am disappointed. This is not the professional life that I dreamed of, but it is my reality and until my reality changes I must push forward and BE better about my work ethic. If I am not given the opportunity to develop skills, I must SEEK the opportunity. Rarely are things handed down on a silver platter.

As I look at the different areas of my life, I wonder where I need to improve and where I want to improve. I NEED to improve my fiscal responsibility...and I WANT to do so as well. I WANT to improve my waistline (preferably in the minimization aspect), but I do not NEED to lose 20lbs. I NEED to be physically active ~5 days a week for my mental well-being and I WANT to be a better dancer and runner. I WANT a new career path and I NEED to create a plan of action.

So what does that have to do with writing?

I don't know, but I know that by writing things down I find clarity. The pen (or the keyboard) becomes a compass, allowing me to find my true north. Create a path toward a new reality. An instrument of change, a tool of introspection. When I do the things that I enjoy, the world becomes clearer...and cloudier. If I did A, then I could not afford to do B.

And we're back to money.

Someone asked me my least favorite question the other day: If you could do anything, what would it be? (in the professional sense)

God if I know. It's been such a long time since I've allowed that thought to sit and fester for very long because it always comes down to 'how much will this cost?'. I can sit here and tell you what I told him, which is what I enjoy and what I am good at...or I could sit here and really think about it. REALLY think about it.

The answer is inconclusive; I keep coming up with variables. Where do I live? Do I have $$ in the bank? Am I done having kids? What is my husband doing? Do I have the talent already?

So, I suppose if I remove the variables (metaphorically of course), what would I do if I could do anything?

Travel to Italy and find myself...I think...